Thursday Thirteen

humor, Thursday Thirteen

You know you’re in a Redneck church if…TT#5

Thirteen Things about Redneck Churches

1. Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

2. The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

3. The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

4. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

5. People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

6. The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling ” washtub.

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

9. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of”.

10. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

11. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

12. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

13. The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear”.

(okay, technically, these are not about me…but I WILL have you know that #2, 10 and 13 have actually been witnessed by me! Happy TT!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Photobucket

Technorati Tags: , ,

by | 4 Comments
Thursday Thirteen

Overheard this week…TT #4


1. “She looks like Quasimodo with that bump on her back.” (in reference to our cat, who has developed a strange knot on her spine)

2. “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” (our youngest has adopted this when someone carries on too long about an injustice)

3. “K, do that thing with your ‘nibbles’ like The Rock does with his.” (from my son after watching her roll her stomach, he decided he wanted her to bounce her pecs like Dwayne Johnson in “The Gameplan”)

4. “Can we make school short so I can play Monkeyball banana splits?” (again, my son…it’s a request I hear daily, to no avail. And the game is called Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz.)

5. “Do I look harp?” (asked daily by youngest once she is dressed – ‘harp’ = ‘sharp’.)

6. “What IS that smell?” (uh…K…clean the cat’s litterbox, please.)

7. “Thou shalt not kill.” (when asked what the Bible says about how we should treat our brothers and sisters)

8. “Oh my darlin, oh my darlin, oh my darrrrlin, what’s yer name?” (youngest’s version of “clementine” as sung by Huckleberry Hound)

9. “Tell me just ooooone more story and sing me just ooooone more song?” (a nightly plea from two youngest at bedtime – simply a stall tactic)

10. “Mama, your tummy is so soft like a pillow.”
“You shouldn’t tell mama that – it’s just that she eats too much and doesn’t get enough exercise.” (conversation between two youngest)

11. “Look, mama! My hope is floating!” (youngest in the tub, referring to a bar of ivory soap – ‘so pure it floats’)

12. “Mama, how come you taste the pages before you turn them?” (son, referring to my habit of licking my fingers to turn the pages)

and finally…
13. “This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles and a very sharp beak.” (my eldest reading from a science book to her brother and sister)

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Photobucket

Technorati Tags: , ,

by | 16 Comments
humor, Thursday Thirteen

Thursday 13 – Kind Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid


1. A few clowns short of a circus

2. A few peas short of a casserole

3. The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead

4. One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

5. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

6. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

7. Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash

8. Her sewing machine’s out of thread

9. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops

10. No grain in the silo

11. Receiver is off the hook

12. Several nuts short of a full pouch

13. Too much yardage between the goal posts

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Technorati Tags: , ,

by | 10 Comments
me, Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I Wish My Dad Would Have Told Me Before He Died


My dad died in December of my 9th year. Right before Christmas…that time is a blur for me now. But it’s okay, because I know I will see him again one day in Heaven. 🙂

1. “I won’t be here for Christmas this year.”

2. “I want you to have my wedding ring.”

3. “You are an intelligent and beautiful girl. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

4. “Don’t marry the first man that is nice to you. Wait for the right one, because you are special and you deserve someone who will love you the way I do.”

5. “It’s okay to cry and not to be strong for your mother when you’re only 9.”

6. “Save yourself for marriage – it’s the only part of yourself you can truly give to your husband when you marry him.”

7. “Start your family when you are young – you’ll have more energy. You’ll never have enough money, so don’t wait.”

8. “There is nothing wrong with not wanting a ‘career’ outside the home. I’ll be just as proud of you if you make your family your career.”

9. “I’m sorry for the bad example I’ve set for you and your brothers. I know having a father for a drunkard is hard.”

10. “Remember the words ‘delayed gratification’ – you don’t have to have everything right now.”

11. “Be yourself, because people will like you for who you really are, not for who you want to be.”

12. “God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you…you really need to start living for Him.”

13. “I love you.”

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Technorati Tags: ,

post signature

by | 10 Comments
Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen – Things I Should Have Done Before Turning on my Computer


1. Made my bed.
2. Fed my kids.
3. Started a load of laundry.
4. Emptied the dishes out of the dishwasher.
5. Emptied the dishes out of the sink and into the dishwasher.
6. Folded the 2 loads of clothes that are already on my unmade bed from yesterday.
7. Showered.
8. Dressed.
9. Brushed my teeth.
10. Eaten breakfast myself.
11. Cleared off my desk from yesterday.
12. Made a to-do list for today so I wouldn’t get hung up on the internet all morning.
13. Completely avoided turning on my computer…I’m sunk.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Technorati Tags: ,

post signature

by | 8 Comments

1 2 3