I’m quite sure when I wrote my original bio for my blog stating that it was “my daily brain dump”, I had no idea just how true that would be two years later.
While I normally try to maintain some semblance of decorum by avoiding posts that contain words like “poop” and “boogers”, on very rare occasions they make an appearance. Today is one of those days, so if your sensibilites are too delicate, I’d ask that you please step away from my blog post today and I’ll see you back here tomorrow for Saturday Mystery Photo.
I’ll give you a minute, because I know if you’re anything like me, you’re probably still reading to see what it is I’m going to discuss. Shoo. Away with you folks who have the weak stomachs – I’d like to keep you around, but I fear my subject matter is a wee bit…indelicate.
Some of you have asked how the ColonixÂ® program is going, so I thought I’d share the ups and downs of it so you can make a more educated decision as to whether or not it’s something you’d like to try. (I promise I won’t be posting photos – can’t look at it myself, why would I ask anyone else to???)
For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about, I started a detoxification of my colon two weeks ago today. I’m using a program called ColonixÂ®, which you can only find on the Dr. Naturaâ„¢ website.
The program consists of a high powered intestinal cleanser (okay, fiber powder), anti-parasite support capsules (vegetarian pills to help kill the parasites), and a delightful tea called Kleriteaâ„¢ that is for regularity and detoxification. First thing every morning (before coffee or anything else), I take four ParanilÂ® capsules with a glass of water, wait 15 minutes and then drink about 4 oz of water with one scoop of the fiber powder.
The fiber powder, by far is the worst thing about the program. In the beginning, I tried mixing it with juice (blech), but have finally decided that a very small amount of water is the best way to go. One important caveat: don’t let it sit for any period of time (more than 10 seconds) – it will turn to bread. Okay, not bread, but you won’t be able to drink it without adding another glass of water, which triples the amount “yuck” you have to ingest.
Then throughout the day, it is suggested that you drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water a day. This has been hard for me. You can’t include coffee or tea as water…you must drink water. I didn’t realize how little water I drink until I started this program. I used to drink almost a gallon a day, but I am lucky to get two glasses in me these days. So that has been good for me.
At bedtime, I make a cup of the tea and let the tea bag steep for 10 minutes. This is my absolute favorite part of the program. Makes me feel very British. (jk) The tea tastes a bit like one I used to drink at my aunt’s house and I love it – very relaxing and just what I need at bedtime.
So when does it get to the “indelicate” part, you ask? Well, that would be now – but I’ll spare you all the gory details by giving you a timeline of events.
Friday, 8/1 – Sunday 8/3 – Started the program and nothing. Nada. Zip. (not that I was expecting anything to happen the first few days)
Monday 8/4 – Exhausted. Could barely move myself out of bed.
Tuesday 8/5 – Felt better, but still a tad lethargic. Things beginning to move, if you catch my drift.
Wednesday 8/6-today – Oh. MY. LANTA. I just can’t describe it…if death really begins in the colon, I’m so glad I’m ridding myself of some of it. It’s not pretty and it rears its ugly head about an hour after I eat every day.
I’m seriously considering at this point of doing another month (the pamphlet suggests doing at least two months, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend $160 – I wasn’t that committed) because it is so. worth. it.
I have tons of energy and am more alert. I have to force myself to go to bed at night – last night it was 2:30 am and I was still wide awake – woke up this morning after 6 hours of sleep and was very refreshed. While that may not seem like a good thing to most of you, I am usually exhausted when I go to bed and pretty much the same way when I wake up.
I’m not getting paid to tell you any of this, nor do I receive any product discounts – there are over 2000 testimonials on their site, I don’t think they really need mine.
Consider it a PSA of sorts, if you like. But please come back – because I will not be discussing this disgusting topic again. (well, not this month, anyway!)
So what moved you this week? (I’m SO sorry – I couldn’t resist!)
chilihead2August 15, 2008 at 1:35 pm (15 years ago)
You are hilarious. I was thinking of trying this last year, but Husband told me I shouldn’t b/c I’d get sick. Apparently when you cleanse, you’re also cleansing out the good bacteria and that can make you ill. Have you experienced this at all? Also, you do this for a whole month? Every day for a whole month? Is that right? You’ll have to keep us/me updated b/c I’m very curious how it will go.
grammyAugust 15, 2008 at 1:48 pm (15 years ago)
What a crazy topic. I need to get ‘movin’ but can’t pay that much to try to. heehee. I think there is some tea I need to try. Can’t think of the name. Could it be smooth move? Surely not. Anyway, thanks for the email. I like to read your blog.
Lora LynnAugust 15, 2008 at 5:24 pm (15 years ago)
I’m going to try to forgive you for that last pun. I said, TRY.
Okay, truthfully, it just sounds like a pun I’d use and I hate that you thought of it first. 🙂
SharaAugust 15, 2008 at 6:06 pm (15 years ago)
I’m so glad to hear things are moving right along in your world. =)
I have never tried that one, but we do a 10 day cleanse from Garden of Life. In fact I have one on top of my fridge I need get started on. Thanks for reminding me!
Mel, A Dramatic MommyAugust 16, 2008 at 3:32 am (15 years ago)
Um, OK. Glad to hear you have more energy. I’m not sure I could pay that much for a BM. ;^)
AnonymousAugust 16, 2008 at 8:40 am (15 years ago)
We did this program a few months ago, but I stopped at the end of the first month when I found out I was pregnant. We took a probiotic, too, to keep the good bacteria going. I lost about 10 pounds and got a flatter stomach. It was great! And I loved the tea, too. :~)
FleaAugust 17, 2008 at 2:10 am (15 years ago)
You weren’t disgusting. 🙂