If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!


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5 Comments on What if Dr. Seuss wrote Technical Manuals?

  1. gretchen from lifenut
    July 1, 2008 at 7:48 am (14 years ago)

    So clever! Very funny!

    The only thing I’d change is that I turn off the computer and quickly tell my husband. But nothing rhymes with that!

  2. Lora Lynn
    July 1, 2008 at 8:19 am (14 years ago)

    Well done!

  3. Dorothy
    July 1, 2008 at 10:03 am (14 years ago)

    I agree with Gretchen. My mom wouldn’t have a clue what I was talking about!

  4. twithhoney
    July 1, 2008 at 11:55 am (14 years ago)

    This is brilliant. I love it!!

  5. Kimberly
    July 1, 2008 at 6:07 pm (14 years ago)

    Didn’t really understand it all, but loved it anyway 🙂 Am forwarding the link to my son, an IT guy

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