Thirteen Things about Redneck Churches

1. Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

2. The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

3. The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

4. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

5. People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

6. The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling ” washtub.

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

9. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of”.

10. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

11. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

12. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

13. The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear”.

(okay, technically, these are not about me…but I WILL have you know that #2, 10 and 13 have actually been witnessed by me! Happy TT!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


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4 Comments on You know you’re in a Redneck church if…TT#5

  1. The Happy Housewife
    February 7, 2008 at 4:10 am (16 years ago)

    So funny, we use to live in WV and a few of these sound a little too familiar, especially numbers 7 and 10.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Hootin' Anni
    February 7, 2008 at 4:52 am (16 years ago)

    These are a real hoot.
    I’m wondering what you mean “Okay these aren’t about me…..are we supposed to just make a list of 13 things about ourselves? I sure hope not….it’s to get to KNOW the person who’s doing the meme…so, 13 things that interest you is a way to get to know someone also.

    And with these, I think you have a GREAT sense of humor. I loved ’em.

    I have the Thursday 13 of the Chinese New Year this week. Hope to see you there for a visit.

  3. Flea
    February 7, 2008 at 7:18 am (16 years ago)

    I’ve experienced 6 and 13. 🙂

    I’ve completed my Bucket List! Well, in a way. Sorta. Kinda.

  4. Nicholas
    February 7, 2008 at 12:22 pm (16 years ago)

    Very funny list!

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