me

Graduation was a thing of the past
I was
free
at
last.
Long summer days and even longer summer nights
spent
on the beach
around
the
fire.
Staying out all night
seeing
my
mom
the
next morning
after
she
spent
a sleepless
night
worrying.
How I long to be 18 again…
to erase those 20 years from my mother’s face and see her young again.
To see her stand up straight without pain…
to wipe away the cobwebs of uncertainty
that have grown
in
her
mind.
I don’t want to be young again to do things over…
I want to have my mom back
the
way
she
was
when I was young.
I miss her laugh most of all.

Insomnia is NOT my Friend!

Insomnia… aka disambiguation… Wikipedia defines it: Insomnia is most often caused by sleep disorders, but other causes include fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs and caffeine. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be a cause. Finding the underlying cause of insomnia is usually necessary to cure it.
Disambiguation…that’s what I had last night. It sounds like a really cool song title…but it’s anything from cool. It’s frustrating not to be able to shut your mind off and go to bed. I’m usually in bed by 10 or 11p.m. to get up with my husband for work at 4:30 or 5 am…not last night. 12:00….awake on the computer 12:40….awake lying in the bed reading 1:15…….awake getting a drink 1:30……awake and back on the computer 1:43……awake and changing Abby’s blowout of a diaper (why do kids do that in the MIDDLE of the night?) 2:10…..awake and back in bed with all the lights off, staring at the shadows on the ceiling. 3:15…..sneak peek at the clock…if I don’t get some sleep tonight, I’m going to be SO tired…sigh. 6:00…..woke up…hey did I actually fall asleep? wow! I can’t believe it!
Disamgibuation It’s keeping me awake Making me crazy Making me o l d
Did you know that a consistent lack of sleep (according to German scientists) makes you fat, stupid and sick? Well, that’s encouraging to know!
I know what the problem is, though. My husband was out of town for business overnight. I don’t sleep well when he’s not here. I’m not a scaredy-cat, no I’m not. It’s just that he’s a part of me….kind of like my right arm. An extension of me. If you’re right handed, can you write without your right hand there? I miss him when he’s gone. But he’s coming home tonight…yea! Insomnia is NOT my friend….but he is…the BEST!

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