It’s no secret that I weigh far more than I should right now and it’s also no secret I’m not really happy in my current skin. I don’t just tip the scales, they actually scream for me to get off. Even more than that, I worry about what the weight could be doing to decrease my life span. My mom has every heart problem known to man and it’s probably in my genes to have some of the same issues, but I have three beautiful kids that will someday, Lord willing, have children of their own. I don’t want to be an old and decrepit grandparent who can’t participate. I want to be “fun” and “energetic” and play tball with the little stinkers.

The bright side is that I can do something about it while I’m still young, (my husband said I was middle-aged, but I refuse to believe that 39 is middle-age!) while the dull side is that it involves cooking healthier foods and exercising, the latter of which I have never been fond. But I’m going to take my mama’s advice and polish that old dull side for whatever it’s worth.

I’m considering joining a boot camp of sorts for exercise, since I am the sort that has to have an accountability partner in order to even get moving. I need someone in my face telling me that I have to do 2 more, even when I think I can’t. Someone pushing me, if you will. The good thing is that I know this about myself after 20 years of weight fluctuations and dieting and exercise.

I’ve also been studying mortality tables and leading causes of death in other countries and it’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Oh, I kid, y’all.


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11 Comments on Diet is a Four Letter Word

  1. Megan (FriedOkra)
    June 28, 2008 at 11:14 am (15 years ago)

    Yo hablo Espanol. 😉

    Personally, I think we’re more stressed out and less active and that’s why we have more heart attacks.

    I can’t wait to be able to get back to regular exercise. It’s just not doable right now. BLAH.

  2. My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving
    June 28, 2008 at 11:41 am (15 years ago)

    LOL that’s funny!

  3. Lora Lynn
    June 28, 2008 at 2:28 pm (15 years ago)

    My husband and I did CrossFit together. ( We had built in accountability, twenty minutes in the evening together, and they were fairly short work-outs. All you really NEED is a pull-up bar and some weights. He still does it, but I’m off the wagon since I’m gestating. He loves it. You can even get your kids involved, make it a family thing. I loved that it was different every night.

  4. Kelly @ Love Well
    June 28, 2008 at 9:18 pm (15 years ago)

    Sounds logical to me!

    I wonder how much soda factors in to those studies.

  5. Emily
    June 28, 2008 at 9:51 pm (15 years ago)

    my aunt did one of those boot camp things and she LOVES it. then again, i think i might die if i did that. i believe my head might (literally) explode.

    if it makes you feel any better, i’ve been reading your blog for several months and i had no idea you tipped any scales. 😀 i don’t believe i’ve ever seen a picture of you!

  6. Elaine A.
    June 28, 2008 at 11:47 pm (15 years ago)

    I’ve always said the processed foods are the culprit. Cut out the sugar and processed junk (if you eat that stuff) and it will change your life & physique.

    Now if I could only practice what I preach. ; )

  7. Tiffany
    June 29, 2008 at 9:22 am (15 years ago)

    I can so appreciate what you are saying – This has been such a struggle for me since my last pregnancy and I know what I need to do, but just figuring out how to JUST DO IT given my crazy, hectic life has been difficult.

    I love the idea of boot camp working out – I am actually about ready to join one as well – I think the idea of accountability and paying for something that you are accountable to be there for makes a difference. Good luck!

  8. bobbi
    June 29, 2008 at 11:00 am (15 years ago)

    Hi saw your blog very nice post, I have to say if the French eat like poop and live forever they are probably in that fewer heart category too! lol

  9. World's Greatest Mommy
    June 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm (15 years ago)

    Okay, to get rid of all the extra weight, I just need to learn to speak French?

    That sounds way more doable somedays than exercise and smart eating.

    Funny post. Thanks for the surprising laugh.

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