It’s no secret that I weigh far more than I should right now and it’s also no secret I’m not really happy in my current skin. I don’t just tip the scales, they actually scream for me to get off. Even more than that, I worry about what the weight could be doing to decrease my life span. My mom has every heart problem known to man and it’s probably in my genes to have some of the same issues, but I have three beautiful kids that will someday, Lord willing, have children of their own. I don’t want to be an old and decrepit grandparent who can’t participate. I want to be “fun” and “energetic” and play tball with the little stinkers.
The bright side is that I can do something about it while I’m still young, (my husband said I was middle-aged, but I refuse to believe that 39 is middle-age!) while the dull side is that it involves cooking healthier foods and exercising, the latter of which I have never been fond. But I’m going to take my mama’s advice and polish that old dull side for whatever it’s worth.
I’m considering joining a boot camp of sorts for exercise, since I am the sort that has to have an accountability partner in order to even get moving. I need someone in my face telling me that I have to do 2 more, even when I think I can’t. Someone pushing me, if you will. The good thing is that I know this about myself after 20 years of weight fluctuations and dieting and exercise.
I’ve also been studying mortality tables and leading causes of death in other countries and it’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Oh, I kid, y’all.
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