1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus)adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ per pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow “remove” all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refused to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup’ kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

What are some words you use that you think should be included in the English language?


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4 Comments on Ten Words That Don’t Exist (But Should)

  1. Flea
    March 28, 2008 at 5:57 am (16 years ago)

    Number nine – ewww!!!!

    I don’t have any fun words. Sorry. I get all weird about the language. Is wonky a word?

  2. {Karla}
    March 28, 2008 at 1:44 pm (16 years ago)

    oh, aren’t you so so clever??!! ;0)

    I can’t think of any… ’cause I am the opposite of clever (which, if I WERE clever, I could come up with a word for my un-cleverness…)

    xo ~K

  3. Amanda
    March 28, 2008 at 3:56 pm (16 years ago)

    Too funny! I hate frust, and I struggle from Phonesia, which is why I generally use my cell phone to dial out. I just have to look at the phone screen to remember.

  4. Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home
    March 29, 2008 at 10:25 am (16 years ago)

    How about “speckeritis”, the condition that results from overuse of the spell check function on your blog? I’m forgetting how to spell- am I the only one?

    This list is great- I totally relate to telecrastination, carperpetuation, disconfect, and frust! Such creative and useful words!

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