1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so that’s why.”
4. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
5. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
6. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
8. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate.”
9. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just you wait until we get home!”
10. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
11. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
12. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
13. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
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