1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria’s Secret model.
3. Any clothing item with the words ‘push-up’ or ‘slim-down’ on the label.
4. Any food item with the words ‘diet’, ‘light’, or ‘high fiber’ on the label.
5. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Jenna Jameson.
6. Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop–or worse, a mortuary’s.
7. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out ‘There was once a girl from Nantucket…’
8. Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
9. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
10. A gift certificate.
11. Cash.
12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
13. An apologetic look and the words ‘That was today?’

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8 Comments on What NOT to Give Her for Valentine’s Day…

  1. Serina Hope
    February 14, 2008 at 12:08 am (16 years ago)


  2. Jessa
    February 14, 2008 at 9:37 am (16 years ago)

    Too true. My husband just skips the holiday all together so I don’t have to worry about the hype at all.

  3. Laura
    February 14, 2008 at 11:26 am (16 years ago)

    Very funny! Happy T-13!

  4. emeraldcityguy
    February 14, 2008 at 2:24 pm (16 years ago)

    I couldn’t agree more with #4. Thanks for stopping by my TT.

  5. byrningbunny
    February 14, 2008 at 2:31 pm (16 years ago)

    lol EXACTLY!!!

  6. Nicholas
    February 14, 2008 at 5:40 pm (16 years ago)

    So, not a snowblower?

  7. Tasina
    February 14, 2008 at 7:22 pm (16 years ago)

    My dad once bought my mom a big, huge, ugly La-Z-Boy. Uh huh…right…for HER….sure.

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