Okay, so I probably messed things up. But what would you have done?

Here’s the setup:

Your friend is seeing someone you are related to and it appears to be serious on the part of your friend. Your relative is a sleazoid who is seeing other women (and you know this for a fact because it has been verified by said relative) and has no intention of ever doing right by your friend and is just using her to get what he wants. She is only somewhat oblivious because she has been through this once with said relative and has said if it ever happened again, that’s it.

Do you tell her or keep your mouth shut?

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8 Comments on Moral dilemma – what would you have done?

  1. Dana
    December 7, 2007 at 2:02 am (10 years ago)

    Um…”been through this once with said relative?” I think she knows what she’s got. I’m sorry…I don’t know any of these people, but some things shouldn’t get second chances.

    Dana
    Principled Discovery

  2. Kim
    December 7, 2007 at 5:49 am (10 years ago)

    I’d tell her as kindly as I possibly could.

    You did, didn’t you?

    Kim from Hiraeth

  3. Megan (FriedOkra)
    December 7, 2007 at 7:22 am (10 years ago)

    Ugh. I’d feel pulled to tell, but I know my trusted advisor hubby would counsel me to stay out of it, they’re both adults. (They are, aren’t they?) And I’d probably listen to him, because when I don’t, I usually end up acknowledging his “I told you so” with a great big, “And you were right!”

  4. Lis Garrett
    December 7, 2007 at 9:35 am (10 years ago)

    The fact that you referred to your relative as a “sleazoid” makes it evident as to whom you care about more. I would tell your friend.

  5. Fresh Girl
    December 7, 2007 at 11:57 am (10 years ago)

    I think I would tell my friend, though if she’s been through this once with him, even if she said the next time she was done, she may not be. :-/

    It’s a pickle.

  6. Amy Bennett
    December 7, 2007 at 1:09 pm (10 years ago)

    Wow, tough call. Part of me says stay out of it and part of me says tell the relative to come clean or you will for him and of course part of me says tell the friend immediately. In the end, if I was the friend, I’d want to know so I say either give the relative a chance to tell or tell her yourself.

  7. Emily
    December 7, 2007 at 4:25 pm (10 years ago)

    if she’s been through this w/your relative before, i think she knows what is going on. either she has reason to believe he’s changed, or she’s hoping against hope that he’s changed.

    unless my friend asked for my opinion or advice, i wouldn’t give it (in this situation).

  8. Emma Sometimes
    December 8, 2007 at 1:56 pm (10 years ago)

    I’d go to your relative..the guy, and tell him he put you in a bad spot. Tell him he now has two choices, he breaks it off/or tells her…or you will tell her what he’s doing because he’s a big cheating arse. (okay, maybe not arse…).

    He’s put you in the middle of this by divulging his intent and by being silent with what you know, it makes you an accessory to his cheating.

    If it makes you feel any better, would you want to know if you were in her shoes?

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