Sometimes I feel I am on a merry go round that is twirling at hyperspeed, carnival music blaring noisily in the background, unable to focus on anything in particular because the days are a blur as they fly by me. The voice in my head is pleading for someone to stop the ride so I can get off and collect my thoughts before I have to jump back on. But the ride doesn’t ever stop – children, husband, business, church…all require more of me than I feel I am able to give at times because of the intensity of my self-induced vertigo.
My desire to take a day off and stay in bed during times like these is overwhelming. But I am a responsible person…a wife, a mom, a business owner. Life doesn’t slow down just because I can’t keep up. It marches steadily on, with me falling further and further behind in my duties and obligations. I am bound to this carousel of my so called life by the aforementioned duties and obligations. But, they are the anchors that keep me in my rightful place, not fetters that shackle me as though I am a prisoner.
These four walls that I call my bedroom have become my chrysalis. A shelter in the time of storm. I am oblivious to sounds of the outside world, able to rest and grow and even regenerate through prayer and devotion. My time with God is precious and it restores and renews my faith daily. Like the Monarch butterfly, when I am ready to emerge, I am converted into something more beautiful. In Greek, the word for chrysalis is chrysos, meaning “gold”. Just the thought of any adversity I might face being used to refine me like gold brings both a smile to my face and Romans 8:28 to my heart.
My joy is transparent and though I may have struggles, I have exercised my wings of faith and God has given me the strength once again to face the flight of the days ahead.
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