“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.” Sheryl Crow

I am most certainly for doing all I can do to help with the whole “global warming” issue we are facing, but let us consider Miss Crow’s proposal, as to how it would pertain to our little family, for just a moment.

Firstly, how is this going to be enforced? Is Wal-Mart going to limit the number of rolls based on number of individuals in my family? Will I have to install pay-per-use dispensers in each bathroom of my house to deter TP theft? Will the TP police come knocking if I am in violation of the new “1-Square” rule? If I’m going to have a TP dispenser, give me this one, please. At least you get more than one square.

Secondly, if my kids decrease the amount of TP used to just 1 square? The possible consequences from that one action are simply frightening to me. Sure, we’ll save a few bucks a month (not to mention 1/8 of a tree a year), but I shudder to think how much MORE hot water we’ll be using (thereby increasing both our electric AND water bills). We’ll go through more cotton underwear (because sometimes not even a whole roll seems to be enough with my kids!), wash our hands a whole lot longer, and wash our clothes more often. How is this beneficial to the environment? Huh?

Lastly…think of the social implications. Can you imagine? You’re out to dinner with friends…”Honey? Do you smell something? What’s that smell? Is it me? Does anyone else smell that???” Okay, okay, you get the idea…but this stuff seriously ran through my head when I read Crow’s idiotic statement about 1 square of TP per visit to the restroom.

Now she says it was all a joke. Yeah right. Don’t believe that for one second. I think that she got enough flak from her ridiculous idea that she decided to play it off as a joke. Which is fine by me…because honestly? I believe that idea should have been flushed down the toilet a long time ago.

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2 Comments on Flushed

  1. Melissa R. Garrett
    April 24, 2007 at 11:56 am (16 years ago)

    My dad, being a very militant sort of man, totally thought he could enforce how much toilet tissue us girls used when we were younger. But all I remember is just how horribly frightened I was of him and that I had better not use more than two dinky squares.

    I am pro-environment, but something about Sheryl Crow doesn’t sit well with me.

  2. Nancy
    April 25, 2007 at 5:16 am (16 years ago)

    I don’t think her comments were a joke either. I read the W Post article and there was no sense of her being anything by serious. What a looney.

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