Month: October 2006

For Hire…

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing. Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus. Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, “He got more than me!” for the rest of your life.

Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above mentioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as “You don’t know anything.” Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go skating. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name. Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions such as “What makes the wind move?” or “Why can’t they just go in and shoot Sadam Hussein?” on the fly. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Taggle Rock

Tagged by Vicki. Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this – I don’t do mandatory tags, since I know we all do tons of these…but I don’t think I’ve done one in a while…so here goes:

Food: Vegetarian Pizza – Chicago style
Breakfast: EAS nutrition drink
Lunch: Usually tuna in water or leftovers…sometimes a pb&j
Supper: It varies, but I try to have meat and potatoes for husband
Dessert: lemon icebox pie
Cake: Carrot
Cookie: Samoan
Candy: Snickers…it reaaaallly satisfies.
Vegetable: fresh steamed broccoli with REAL butter and salt
Meat: grilled chicken
Soup: Hot and Sour
Fruit: Orange
Juice: Orange
Sandwich: Pickle, cheese and mayo
Hot Drink: Coffee
Cold Drink: water
Actor: I don’t have a favorite….I know, how boring. :o) Maybe Sean Connery?
Actress: Again…sigh. I don’t watch much tv or movies.
Movie: The Sound of Music
Music: Christian – very little contemporary
Song: “The Blood Cried Out” – Ernie Haas
Singer: Jonathan Pierce
TV Show: Supernanny
Book: 360 Degree Leader
Author: John Maxwell
Holiday: Christmas
Sport: Volleyball
Possession: My Bible…if I could call my salvation a possession, it would be #1, but I do not belong to myself. When I got saved, I gave myself over to Jesus and so I am his.
Pastime: Reading, Internet
Pet: Homer and Sarge (two bassetts) and about 12 cats (all outside!!!!)
Hero: Jesus…want to be JUST like Him when I grow up…only a girl.
Pet Peeve: People who are intentionally mean to others; people who yell to communicate.
Bad Habit: Procastination.

My thoughts on Halloween

My thoughts on Halloween

Because I have been asked by many people:

The origins of Halloween are Celtic in tradition and have to do with observing the end of summer sacrifices to gods in Druidic tradition. In what is now Britain and France, it was the beginning of the Celtic year, and they believed Samhain, the lord of death, sent evil spirits abroad to attack humans, who could escape only by assuming disguises and looking like evil spirits themselves.

The waning of the sun and the approach of dark winter made the evil spirits rejoice and play nasty tricks. Believe it or not, most of our Halloween practices can be traced back to these old pagan rites and superstitions. But what about today? Perhaps we can still learn from history. In the fourth century, Christians attempted to co-opt the holiday by celebrating the lives of faithful Christian saints the day before Halloween. This was a conscious attempt to provide an alternative and re-focus the day away from ghouls, goblins, ghosts, witches and other “haunted” experiences. Since that time many Christians have decided to allow their children to dress in more “innocent” costumes of pumpkins, princesses, Superman or as a cowboy. Part of this is due to the simple reality that in today’s Western culture it is nearly impossible to “avoid” Halloween.

Just before reaching a conclusion on the subject, I was struck with the thought that I ought to further my search and find out what Wicca, the official religion of witchcraft, has to say about Halloween. Perhaps they viewed the day as a simple fun and innocent neighborhood activity? “Shock” is the only word to describe what I found. Halloween is a real, sacred day for those who follow Wicca. In fact, it is one of two high and holy days for them. The Celtic belief of spirits being released is current, along with the worship of Samhain (the lord of death) – both are promoted as something to embrace on that day. There is no question in my mind that to those who believe and follow the practices of witchcraft, Halloween represents an opportunity to embrace the evil, devilish, dark side of the spiritual world. So after discovering this, what is a reasonable conclusion? As Christians you and I are placed in this world to be a light in a world of darkness.

There is no lasting benefit to ignore a holiday that exists around us, but it also does harm to celebrate Halloween as it has originated and grown over the centuries. My suggestion? Christians should be teaching their children (age appropriately) that: 1. There is a spiritual world filled with goodness from God and evil from Satan (Eph. 2:1-10); 2. Life with Christ has power over darkness (I John 4:4); and 3. Those who celebrate Halloween either are unaware of its roots, or are intentionally promoting a world where evil is lauded and viewed as an ultimate power.

To counter the evil influence of Halloween, we need to join together and celebrate the reality of the heroic efforts of Christian saints over the evil in their day. Many leaders in the past — and present — have fulfilled the mandate of destroying the works of the devil through their sacrificial commitment to Christ and His Kingdom. Too, rather than “hide” in the face of evil, we should unabashedly and boldly create an alternative that is positive and uplifting; that celebrates good over evil and the triumph of God over Satan. We need to provide an environment that also makes room for heaps of fun while using the day as a “teachable moment” to celebrate God’s protection, provision and purpose for our lives.

Many thanks to Eric Wyatt for letting me use his thoughts, as they are completely in line with mine.

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