Month: August 2006

The Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.
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The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?______________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Today is a New Day

My son recently turned 4. He wanted two things for his birthday: 1. All the cars from the movie “Cars” and 2. The movie “Chicken Little”.

Well, he didn’t get all the cars from the movie, but only because we haven’t been able to find them all – apparently, they are in high demand and KB toys just can’t keep them in stock, Target won’t keep them, and Wal-Mart couldn’t care less about keeping them in stock. He DID receive the movie “Chicken Little”. Even as I write this, he’s in the living room watching that movie for about the hundredth time since we bought it for him. (Now, don’t start thinking I let the tv babysit my kids…it’s not even 8 in the morning yet and he only woke up to watch that movie!)

Here’s the problem. He thinks Chicken Little is real. He wants to be JUST LIKE Chicken Little. He sings the theme song over and over throughout the day. The words go something like, “One little slip….yadda yadda yadda”, but he INSISTS they say, “One little SHRIMP..” Who am I to argue?

He has asked me to buy him some green glasses, a green striped tee shirt, and dark brown shorts “just like Chicken Little”. He doesn’t realize that CL’s outfit would most likely be the featured outfit on TLC’s show “What Not to Wear”. It’s so cool to him. I love that about him…not afraid to embrace being different. Different is normal for him…THAT’s cool to me.

Recently, he told me, “Mom…I loooove Chicken Little”. I said, “I know, son.” Now if I can just get the words to that theme song down…

Tell Me About Your Faith and I’ll Tell You About Mine

My husband is a Creation Science Speaker and it seems we cause some sort of controversy where ever we go.
For those of you who may not know what creation science is, it is the belief that the world was created in 6 literal days between 6,000-10,000 years ago.
Remember that we all (creationists and evolutionists) are dealing with the same ‘evidence’, but that we interpret it in different ways based on our presuppositions. In other words, it depends on where you place your faith.
If you’re interested in what I believe, click here for a terrific article on where the proof for creation is.
Now, without any judgment or criticism, I’d really like to know where all of you stand on this issue. One favor, though…please read the above article before you reply if you are an evolutionist, just so you know where I’m coming from.

Body Image

It seems like every where I look recently, there’s an article or a blog or a photo to do with body image. Which brings me to this…I’m not really happy with my body as it is.
There. It’s out there. I’ve said it. I have loved every minute of all three of my pregnancies, and I know I should be oh so happy with the tiger stripes and saggy boobs that pregnancy and breastfeeding for 5 years has left me…but sadly, I’m uncomfortable in this new body. I’m learning to get used to it. But there are still awkward moments … Like when my husband, well, you know… Or when I’m in a business meeting with a lot of folks that are hip and in shape – I’m the only one out of style, with grey hair and fat rolls! The only really GREAT thing, and I mean REALLY GREAT thing…is that my husband and kids love me for who I am. I know he’s not just saying that either. He really loves my postpartum body — fat rolls, stretch marks, saggy boobs and all. I read somewhere that “Men love all breasts in a sort of idiotic and genial way, but the breasts they love most are attached to women they adore.” I like that sooo much. ‘Cause it’s true. I just wish I could love my body the way he does.

A Thousand Times Ouch

I spent my day mowing and weedeating our yard today. I had to wait until 10:30 to start because the grass still had dew on it and Deere John doesn’t like to mow wet grass. It took me 3 hours just to mow one acre…the grass was so tall I had to mow on speed “1”. Glug, glug….glug, glug….
Then, I had the lovely task of moving all the crappe (I say it with the accent because it makes it sound more classy, even thought it’s not) out from beside the house along the fence so I could weedeat. Then, I spent the next 4 hours weedeating the entire fencerow, around every bush, along the looooooooong driveway, up around the trees, I even mowed down the monkey grass by the crepe myrtles (there was really too much monkeying around going on there).
Now, I’m too tired to write anymore. There’s much to tell, but as I said, I’m much too tired. I’m off to the shower to get rid of all the grass that is sprouting in places I”ll not mention right now.

Take that, you soccer moms!

Okay, so I’m not really down on soccer moms. I know they’re really just like the rest of us…stretch marks, incision scars, fat rolls….yeah right.

I was blog-surfing last night and I came across a great blog. She had mentioned this blog, The Shape of a Mother, in one of her blogs and since I was blog-surfing, I surfed right on over. Well, needless to say, I spent the next hour hung up there reading every entry.

I’d like to say a big thanks to my new blog friend Tara for having that blog on her blogroll. Very cool. I recently posted the link about touch up artists and I think it’s GREAT to see real moms and their real bodies. These women are beautiful…having kids is a beautiful experience.
While I’d never post a pic of myself on that blog, I will probably continue to read it from time to time just because it’s so cool to hear the stories these women share. Visit it and tell me what you think!

A lovely Thursday to you all

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